


Golden Hour

by Inkribbon796



Series: Egotober 2019 [18]
Category: Jacksepticeye Fandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Egotober 2019, Gen, James Bond References, Last minute rescue, superhero au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-22 17:29:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21080363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkribbon796/pseuds/Inkribbon796
Summary: Jackie is a career superhero. He’s seen a lot of weird stuff, and done a lot of weird stuff in his line of work.Two-bit villains who think they’re hot stuff in a champagne glass, he’s dealt with that before. This is the first time anyone’s ever tried to kill him quite like this before.





	Golden Hour

Jackieboy Man knew he should be feeling a lot more worried than he currently was.

“So hero, any last words?” The thug gloated. He was currently in a suit way above his villainy level, that had managed to trap the speedy hero by surprise. Of course his first action wasn’t to try to unmask Jackie, but to tie him up over a vat of what looked like gold, or at least gold paint.

If Jackie still had the use of his hands, he’d slap himself on the forehead. Well, if Jackie didn’t also have to content with a bruised and bloodied face as well.

“So are ye just gonna’ leave and put on the Bachorette?” Jackieboy deadpanned.

“No, I plan on watching,” the villain cackled gleefully.

Jackieboy Man was almost impressed, he would be sarcastically clapping if he could have, “Points for creativity.”

“Say goodbye hero!” the guy flipped an actual huge switch and the rope began to lower at a snail’s pace.

Jackie just chuckled, because this had to be stupidest way someone had tried to kill him. “So,” Jackie drawled, “Yah got a thing fer this stuff, like a fetish or somethin’? ‘Cause this is a bit extreme.”

“I’m going to present Dark with a hero dipped in gold!” he exclaimed.

“Yah know,” Jackie decided. “I’m tempted ta let yah, just so I can see how much Dark is gunna kill yah fer trackin’ a statue dripping with fake gold all o’er his office.”

“You can’t trick me hero, shut up and die already,” he spat at Jackie.

“Maybe I would if yah lowed the rope  _ faster _ ,” Jackie goaded.

“You’ll die and it’ll be slow,” the villain promised.

“I think I’ll die of boredom ‘fore I die ‘a this,” Jackie laughed.

“No two-bit hero is going to tell me how to do my job,” Jackie’s kidnapper shouted as Jackieboy watched a maintenance panel in the ceiling move. Which was good because the speedster was about five feet from death at this point.

“Hey, look,” Jackieboy shrugged. “I’m just warning yah, that the ego nightmare on hill house might want somethin’ a bit more expensive than a skinny Irish kid dipped in a vat of paint, Goldfinger-style.”

“I’m going to cut the rope,” the criminal threatened.

“Did ya marathon James Bond or is there some kind’a Villain’s memo they pass out e’ery month,” Jackie laughed. Then he began to mimic Dark’s voice a bit, “you must burn this many orphanages or dip 10 civillains in gold before you can earn another villain badge.”

“That’s it!” The man pulled out a gun and there was a winding sound before Chase suddenly appeared behind the villain.

“Hey, Golddipper,” Chase called out, the 90’s themed masked hero had a stun blaster, which was just a NERF riffle that had been upgraded, to the back of the criminal’s head. The blast knocked the villain out cold.

“You know, a heads up would have been nice,” Chase reminded, J.J flipping out of the maintenance hatch, immediately looking at the still bound hero in worry.

_ _ _ “You okay?” _ Jameson signed, the mute’s hand moving in concern.

Chase however, had the widest smile on his face, “Hey, Jack, how yah hanging?”

“Yer the worst,” Jackieboy decided. “Now get me outta this.”

Brody reached over and flipped the switch, stopping the machine. “I don’t know, looks like yer havin’ fun.”

“Yeah, Average, cause I  _ love _ the idea ‘a bein’ turned int’a first place trophy,” Jackieboy spat angrily.

“I hear yah,” Chase smiled and kicked the grate closed so a protective barrier was now in-between the hero and a vat of liquid paint. Working together they were able to help Jackieboy Man get free so he could get himself down. Then they called the police and turned the guy over, happy to be rid of him.

Finally, Jackie got a shower and took a well-deserved nap, promising to laugh about the whole mess with the others after he woke up.


End file.
